- September 29, 2017
- Posted by: Dr. Elise Cohen Ho
- Category: Self Discovery
This is a repost of a Yom Kippur blog post that I wrote back in 2011.
Yom Kippur…. is the final push for forgiveness of the past year’s transgressions.
The Day of Atonement.
Do I deserve forgiveness? Do you deserve forgiveness?
Once we forgive do we forget? How do we protect ourselves from someone else’s “sins” causing harm to us? Just when is it appropriate to forgive? Is it ever appropriate to forget?
There are certain actions that, in my opinion, are not worthy of forgiveness. There are others that I do believe can be forgiven. I am a fairly forgiving person. I accept that people, myself included, may have done things in their past that they very much regret. I can totally appreciate AND respect that. If one can recognize and admit to their poor choices then that is deserving of respect.
If you can show me, through words and actions, that you genuinely regret whatever it is that was done to hurt me than it is a pretty safe bet that I will forgive.
Some may say that this makes me a fool. The saying ” Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.” comes to mind. I, however, do not think that this thought process makes me a fool. I do think that this thought process makes me a caring person who really does want to see the best in everyone.
I want to forgive you because I, contrary to many, do believe that people can change.
To this end, for anyone reading this (or not reading it), I say “apologize and show me the new attitude and let’s get on with living happy lives.”
For those reading this (or not reading it), who have no idea that their behaviors are hurting our relationship, I ask you to please think about what I have said to you and try to understand another person’s point of view. You do not have to agree with it, just respect the person that it came from.