- April 16, 2015
- Posted by: Dr. Elise Cohen Ho
- Category: Parenting & Family
I have many sisters. This simple fact, this fact that means more to me than probably any of my sisters know, has made me think about what a sisterhood really is.
The word “sister” has many different definitions dependent on what your search parameters are. Two females may be sisters because they share the same parents. Two people may be sisters because they share a common goal or perhaps they are sisters because they have an allegiance to one another. Perhaps a marriage made two people sisters.
I have a sister, or two or ten, in each of these categories.
Marriage and blood lines gave me five sisters, choice gave me some more and still others came via life circumstances. I have some that fall into more than one category. Some of these sisters I would, in fact, be friends with regardless of how they became my sister, and some I would not.
That is life and fine to admit.
These sisters, the ones that are there because you have ties that bind, are sometimes a bit more difficult and often not in line with your ideology, but they are still wonderful and amazing creatures to learn from. In these sisters look for their goodness, their graciousness or their generosity of spirit.
I believe in all of my being, and even to the depths of my toes, that all people have a lesson to teach us. We just need to keep our minds and spirits open to the lesson.
I am incredibly honored to have such a great abundance of sisterly love. Similarly, I am also given sisterly advice. Sometimes I want the advice and sometimes I am not in the slightest bit interested in. To this, I cannot help but think of the advice on how to get pregnant. This that I was given after “trying” for a whole entire week. At this time I was already pregnant but neither she nor I knew that. The need to give someone advice on how to get pregnant just seven days after they’ve decided to get pregnant is, of course, ridiculous.
Just because you are curious, I will tell you that the advice was about putting my butt on a pillow. Also, raising my feet to the air to allow for a speedy journey for the little baby making critters. Just because I want to, I will tell you that the real advice on how to get pregnant is “have sex.” But I digress.
Instead of getting mad at this advice giving sister I simply said, “thank you.”
Yes, I thought that the idea of giving baby making advice to someone who had only just started “trying” was absurd, but I did not mock her. Instead, I thought about the fact that she was excited and that the advice came from a place of love. A focus on this love and genuine place that these irritating behaviors come from allows us to see that advice, solicited or unsolicited, comes from a good and loving place.
Sisterly fights are an interesting breed. They are very different than any fight you could ever have with someone. These fights can cut you to the quick. This is because your sisters, whether in blood or other, know your spirit. In this knowing is the possibility of causing pain but we must recognize that those sisters that cause us pain are not the sisters that are meant to be in our lives.
On the practical side of the spectrum, if these sisters are your blood or marriage sisters then you can not exactly excise them from your life. For these sisters I encourage you to find that good place in them, even if you have to search far and wide, and concentrate on that. If that sister you have chosen is the sister that hurts you time and time again then it is time to reevaluate the purpose and future of that relationship.
Choose sisters who support you, who nourish you, and who love your spirit like no other.
Choose sisters who will protect your spirit, love you unconditionally, lift you up from life’s difficult lessons and rejoice in your glorious accomplishments.
Thread yourselves together in the amazing bond that is SISTERHOOD!
The definition of Sisterhood as per www.dictionary.com.
1. a female offspring having both parents in common with another offspring
2. halfsister – a female offspring having only one parent in common with another offspring.
4. a female friend or protector regarded as a sister.
5. a thing regarded as feminine and associated as if by kinship with something
else: The ships are sisters.